The unshakable logic of children

sheep-art

We were starting a project on biodiversity. This would include studying habitats, ecosystems and learning about conservation, symbiotic relationships and the world around us. For our starting point we were going to look at the familiar area of the school playing field.

“So what do you think we might see on the field?”

“Spiders.”

“Grass.”

“Daisies.”

“Spiders.”

Pause as everybody looks at each other.

“Anything else?”

“Sheep.”

“Sheep?”

“Yes, sheep.”

“Are you sure? Have there ever been sheep on the field before?”

“Not this field, no.”

“Why might there be today?”

“Because it’s a field.”

Unable to escape this feat of logic I tried to appeal to common sense;

“If there were sheep would you be able to see them now, through the window?”

“Not if they were hiding.”

“There’s nowhere to hide though.”

“By the bins?”

“Really? Ok, so even though there have never been any sheep on the field in the seven years you have been at this school, and even though you can’t see them out there now, you want to add sheep to the list of things we might find when we go out?”

“Yes, it’s a field.”

It is going to be a loooong topic.

Poo and wee, nice!

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A couple of weeks ago I was working with one of my younger classes. Half way through the lesson, much to the hilarity of the rest of the group, one boy passed wind. Much wafting of hands, shouting ‘pheeeew’ and laughter later the boy asked if he could please go to the toilet sir?

I am not such a monster as to say no, particularly if there is a very real possibility that I may be involved in a major clean-up activity if I refuse. So off he went.

As he left the room one of the other children started a cross class conversation:

“Where’s he gone?”

“To the toilet of course.” (snigger)

“Number 1 or 2”

“2” (more sniggers)

ME – “enough thank you.”

Small voice – “or a number 3.”

The possibility had not occurred before, but now it had it needed to be explored;

“sick?”

“Diarrhoea?”

“Both?”

“No that would be a 10.” Whooping gales of laughter.

ME – “seriously – enough.”

Momentary silence, followed by a new voice;

“20!”

“Explosive diarrhoea!”

Room erupts once more into howls of hysterical laughter, followed by rapid fire volley of escalating numerical options – 50, 60, 80, 99.

ME – “This is not helping our RE work.”

Eventually the room calmed again. Work was resumed and RE was back on the agenda. Until another voice called out with wild abandon and gusto;

“100!”

Bedlam ensued and the boy who had been to the toilet walked back in right in the middle of it. Naturally he joined in and the whole sequence was repeated once again.

To be honest, I didn’t really want to teach RE that day anyway!