Christmas is coming – possibly- depending on whether Santa can find his way.

SantaMap

“I know” I said enthusiastically, “We’ll draw maps with our houses on so that Santa will be able to find us easily.”

This, of course, was a cynical and manipulative teacher ploy to get small children to work on remembering where they live (important information for people of all ages) and help develop the necessary skills to find their way home if the need ever arose.

“Try to think of something that is near your house that Santa will be able to find easily and put that on your map.”

….still the same trickery going on here.

“Sir, mine is near the park.”

“My house is next to the shop.”

“Mine is next to his house, and the shop is called the Co-op shop and my Mum gets her bread and milk there and buys me sweets if I am good and I’m allowed to go with my brother sometimes but we have to be careful and stay on the path.”

“There’s a big road near my house.”

Excellent, I am winning, I am king of the teachers, I have success in my sights.

“Just you then little man. What special thing can you think of to tell Santa about your house that will help him find his way there next week?”

I am on a roll, how can I possibly fail now?

“Umh? There’s a bird on the roof – I saw it there this morning.”

Sigh.

 

Hoping Santa finds your house, Happy Christmas.

The best laid plans

Or, more fully;

 ‘The best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry’.

Or, even more fully;

The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

(From Robert Burns’ poem ‘To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough’)

The fact that this blog was going to be titled ‘Christmas is coming…’ should be ample evidence of the truth of the quote. I was going to get into the whole December, cards, present buying, carol singing, decorations going up vibe. But after a busy and stressful week with a sick (ish – mostly snotty) child, I’m not feeling so festive now.

In fact, the most festive thing in our house at the moment is the Christmas themed toilet paper. I can’t help but think that this doesn’t really evoke the true spirit of the season. Although I will concede it could be quite cathartic if one had really had enough.

So – this week didn’t go as I had planned. I had a list of things I wanted/needed to get done and had mentally planned out my days accordingly, a mind map of my week to come. I have job applications to fill in, the housework slipped last week and I was going to have a catch up, some ‘me’ time at the skatepark if the weather held up, read some more of my book, get a haircut. All these things interspersed with several meetings – none of which I was looking forward to. In the end most of those things didn’t happen – except the meetings, hurrah!

The first meeting was with senior officers from the local health service. I arrived on time (early even!) took my jumper off and realised the sleeve of my freshly pressed blue shirt had been ‘snotted’ – extensively. I brazened it out and kept myself sitting at an angle to the table so it wasn’t so obvious. I think I got away with it, but it was a warning for what the week held in store.

A similar amount of disgusting slime has adorned my clothing for most of the week, in spite of my best efforts to remain clean. I had to do an emergency trip to the shops to restock on tissues and lots of time has been spent entertaining the poorly one. Work has been put off, trips cancelled, the cat hasn’t been to the vet, shopping needs to be done the skatepark was left unskated etc.etc.

 This week did not go as planned, what does?  Plans change, things go off kilter and in the end you need to take a deep breath and go with the flow. I guess I can always get my hair cut next week, I can blog about Christmas nearer to the big day, I will catch up with myself and make some new plans (or ‘a list’ as it’s referred to in our house) and start again.

P.S. The alternative to the quote from Burns is this proverb;

‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’

Maybe that should have been my motto, it sounds more like me than the other one.