Karma – I’ve got a little list

revenge

I am currently reading a book called ‘Best Served Cold’ by Joe Abercrombie

. It is a violent and bloody book about revenge, the main protagonist vowing to kill the men who garrotted, stabbed and threw her over a mountainside to die (no spoiler alert there, you could get that much from the blurb!)

I am enjoying it tremendously – but it got me thinking….

….I have a mental list of people who I believe have wronged me in some way, people who have disturbed the equilibrium of my life or the lives of those I love. Don’t get me wrong, nobody in our family has been garrotted or stabbed, but other stuff happens that pisses me off from time to time. It doesn’t even have to be personal either; there are certainly some high profile world leaders from the 80’s, celebrities and general big mouths there.

My list is not as extensive as Ko Ko’s (The Lord High Executioner in Gilbert and Sullivan’s Mikado – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1n3jk-gouM ) although with some thought and effort I’m sure I could extend it if necessary. As I approach curmudgeonly middle age the number of people who annoy me seems to grow longer every time I leave the house; people driving too slowly, people driving too fast, people with dogs, people in shops, people on pavements, people dressed badly, people overdressed. The common denominator is ‘people’, beyond that all are at the mercy of my whims and foibles.

I have no intention of doing anything about any of the people on the list either. Although there are some I would not piss on if I happened across them when they were on fire. It is just a list of people that I would like Karma to take care of please.

I have watched My Name is Earl and have a pretty good idea about how Karma works, probably, and so am content to let bad things happen to bad people. If possible I would like to be there at the time, and I would like there to be poetic justice in what happens.  Just like in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, when all the other kids fall victim to their own unpleasant habits and failings. Hoisted by their own petards so to speak.

So anyway, back to the point, this is what it got me thinking; whose lists am I on? I can think of one or two (or more) straight away. But how many other people are watching and waiting for my come-uppance? Who else would like to see me having a hard time.

If I am on your list, I’ve had a pretty rough year in 2013, so you can probably scratch me now if you want – Karma has been busy doing its thing. If you are on my list I am ready to call a truce and move on – well most of you anyway.

The book, by the way, is terrific.