I have noticed a lot of courses recently offering advice on how to write a book, so I thought I would share my experience and expertise and produce my own 20 step guide (it was going to be 10 but there’s more to it than you realise). Anyway, here it is;

1. Have an idea, maybe a fully formed cracker of an idea that makes perfect sense and will make a great story. Or perhaps just an inkling of a thing that you think you could work up into something worthwhile.
2. Start to write your idea down. Just get it down on paper, like verbal diarrhoea only in writing. Type furiously, only pausing for caffeine, food and occasional sleep.
3. Get about 10,000 words in then realise the idea wasn’t as good as you thought it was. Try to carry on but lose heart and abandon it.
4. Wait a few weeks, then look at it again and realise you were wrong – it just needs some more work. Quite a lot more work if you are being honest, but you can do this right?
5. Do some more work.
6. Have another great idea, put the original writing to one side and start step 2 with the newbie. After 10,000 words abandon the second idea and return to your original idea.
7. Plough on for several months (years), in between real life things, like going to work, looking after the kids, doing housework etc. Until you finally have a finished first draft.
8. Read finished first draft – cry a little bit.
9. Go back and start fixing the bits that don’t make sense, correcting the poor punctuation, grammar and spelling and changing things from the start of the story that you don’t like anymore.
10. Read again, then go back to step 8. Do this several times.
11. Finally have a draft that you think is okay. Pluck up the courage to show it to someone else, someone you trust who is generous and will give you lots of positive encouragement.
12. Try not to be downhearted when they point out the glaringly obvious errors, inconsistencies and  weak plot lines – like you asked them to.
13. Return to step 8.
14. Finally start to research what you are supposed to do with your book now that it is complete.
15. After extensive research, decide to self-publish and start figuring out how you do that.
16. Realise that you are still only half way there, you still need a blurb, a cover, an author page, some extra hours in the day and a degree in computing to get your book formatted properly.
17. Now – PUBLISH! Press that button and order your author copy. You will feel immensely proud when it arrives at your doorstep, but will inevitably throw up a multitude of necessary amendments – because things look different in books.
18. Make changes and publish again, but properly this time.
19. Tell people about your book.
20. Sit back and watch your sales creep up, then stall as you run out of friends and relatives to sell them to. Okay, it’s only a handful of copies, but it will be your book that you poured your heart and soul into. Your book that people have chosen to buy, paid for and read. Your book, that is now an actual, physical thing that you can hold in your hand and say “I  did that!” and there is no feeling like it.